Until it's Not
by OutsiderRushheart
Summary: Have you ever wondered why people slow down when passing a car crash? Or why they call for help when they know no one can hear them?


**I don't know if someone already wrote something like this, but it came to mind when I thought how; well, if Dave and Santana act the way they do/did for the reasons that come from...yeah. I thought, even though for the longest time I did not like Sebastian at all, maybe he has something going on so here is when he decided to quit treating the New Directions and everyone else so poorly.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee**

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><p>"<em>It's all fun and games...until it's not"<em>

-Sebastian Smythe, _Glee_

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><p>Have you ever wondered why people slow down when passing a car crash? Or why they call for help when they know no one can hear them?<br>Why would they want to witness the gruesome mess of blood? Why waste their energy crying out when it could be used to escape what ever it was that caused the cries in the first place?

It was human nature. It couldn't be helped, nothing really stops gut instinct. It's the same thing that brings a person to do stupid things like make jokes that aren't funny or pranks that hurt in more ways than one or win without feeling victorious. Can it ever be controlled once the chaos has left its scars? No, but it can be fixed.

I took my lap top, a lighter and walked out to my car. I set the computer and lighter in the passenger seat and buckled in. Then I backed out of the driveway and drove. I drove on without stopping and for a moment, felt like mentally slapping myself for not filling the gas tank first. Still, I continued on. When I left civilization and ended up in forest; when I turned into a cleared pathway, I end up at a small pond. From where I am, I can see the trees that wrap around the lake on all sides. My car slows to a stop at the water's edge. I opened the car door before tucking the laptop under my left arm, lighter in hand while my right hand grabbed the original Finn-photos from the glove box. And then I climb out. Setting everything on the hood of the car I stared out at the still water. Everything is quiet and the silence seemed to make it all real.

That news was horrifying for everyone...everyone at Dalton and maybe for everyone who heard. It was far more than I could expect to happen. I had heard of it happing before, it was sordidly common...But for someone...someone actually connected to me in some way...I couldn't take that it happened. And I kept thinking over and over again that by sending out those pictures; I could push Finn over that edge.

I shivered and a wave of anger flooded through me...that I was no better than them, I was no better than the people who drove me to Dalton in the first place, no better than the people who drove Karofsky to that point of no return...I stared bitterly at my laptop, and before I knew what was happing; my hand gripped the computer and then a half second later it was hurtling across the water, landing with a strident splash.  
>Not thinking about the consequences for what I had just done, my finger fold over the corner of the photos. I hold them a safe distance away and with my free hand, I took to lighter and set fire. I waited until the flames had crawled halfway up the pictures before letting them float to the water's edge where the remains are washed away.<p>

I let out a shakey breath before walking around and re-entering my car. The hold on the lighter has turned my knuckles white. I put it on the passenger seat and leaned back. God... There wasn't anything else I could do really.

Maybe hope that Blaine's eye didn't have any permanent damage. Maybe hope that I wasn't a part of Dave Karofsky's decision. Maybe hope that the New Direction's could forgive me.

I reached over and turned up the volume on the radio just in time to hear Ryan Secrest say, "Right now we have Lady Gaga's hit song, "Born This Way!"" I turned the volume up higher and music boomed through the air.

The lyrics floated through my head and enfolded around my two sizes too small heart. As the song ended, I reached into my jeans pocket and pulled out my cell phone. I turned off the radio and dialed one of numbers that I had come to rely on. It rung at least four times until someone picked up.

"Hello?"

"Yeah, Wes; it's me, Sebastian," I said.

"Sebastian?" Wes inquired skeptically. "What's up?"

"Ever heard of the 'Born This Way Foundation'?"

"Mmm hmm," Wes said, "What about it?"  
>"Maybe...Maybe we can talk it over with the guys and the head of Dalton...and at Regional's collect donations."<br>Wes is quiet for a few seconds. "Okay. I think that'd be a great idea."

I smiled to myself. "Great!"

"Sebastian?"

"Yeah?"

"You're not as bad a guy as you seem."

I sighed, "Not anymore…thanks Wes. I'll see you tomorrow at rehearsals." I hung up and for a few minutes I thought of what I told Dave Karofsky that night at Scandals when I was still on the 'Shatter Kurt Hummel the not-so-male version of Betty White's relationship with sexy Blaine Anderson' mode... And I want to apologize to him; maybe visit him in the hospital or whatever...but until then; there are a few people I have to amend with first.

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><p><strong>The Glee cliffhanger on the last episode was just...*shudders* I won't say anything just in case someone didn't see the epi. yet...I don't nessesarily think I spoiled anything too important in this, but if I did; sorry!<strong>


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